February 4, 2013

According to a new poll, Alabama is the most conservative state in the nation. Upon hearing the news, Alabama thanked the pollers, then immediately denounced them for "math usin'."

Mark Sullivan, the head of the Secret Service, announced Friday he is stepping down. Sullivan said he is looking forward to spending more time diving dramatically in front of his family.

The Superdome suffered a blackout during the third quarter of last night's Super Bowl. The event will undoubtedly be remembered as the worst disaster ever to strike the city of New Orleans.

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