North Korea failed in its effort to launch a rocket that Western officials say was a cover for an intercontinental ballistic missile test. Huh, I guess "Kim Jong-Un" is short for "Kim John-Unable to successfully deploy an intercontinental ballistic missile test masquerading as a rocket launch in the face of heavy sanctions and global scrutiny." Although that's probably for the best.
Earlier this week, the Department of Justice sued Apple for colluding with publishers to illegally fix the price of e-books. In response, Apple has purchased the federal government.