Monday

August 8, 2011

On Friday, Standard and Poor lowered the United States' credit rating from AAA to AA+, which apparently doesn't even come with roadside assistance.

Meanwhile, China condemned the U.S. on Saturday for what it called America's "addiction to debt." Which is sort of like your drug dealer berating you for being hooked on meth.

A new post-debt crisis poll shows public opinion of the Tea Party is at an all-time low. However it will most likely not get any lower, as the Party is now in the process of defunding the poll.

More than 45,000 Verizon workers went on strike yesterday, leaving millions of Americans without anyone to ignore their customer service complaints.

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