July 27, 2011

A new study finds that nearly half of all Americans are unable to correctly identify the religion of Republican presidential frontrunner Mitt Romney. Romney, who is a Mormon, said he does not mind the confusion, just so long as those same people continue to believe Barack Obama is a Muslim.

Oil giant BP posted a $5.3 billion profit last quarter, just one year after the Deepwater Horizon disaster. "Awesome!" said that one guy who totally hates seals.

Crystal Harris, a one-time Playboy Playmate and Hugh Hefner's former fiance-turned-runaway bride, told Howard Stern yesterday she had never seen the 85-year-old Hefner naked. Then again, would she really have wanted to?

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