July 22, 2011

The space shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center yesterday, bringing an end to the NASA's famed shuttle program. Said one NASA representative with a thick Boston accent, "We ended the space program not because it is easy, but because...well, because it saves us a whole bunch of money. Oh, and because it is hard."

The Hubble telescope has apparently discovered a previously-undetected fourth moon orbiting Pluto. So, yeah, I guess nobody told Hubble we're not supposed to give a shit about Pluto anymore...

New software expected to roll out later this year will prevent airport body scanners from capturing naked images of the people they are scanning. So from now on if you want to someone to see your penis in an airport, you'll have to do it the old fashioned way: in a bathroom with Larry Craig.

A new law in Saudi Arabia grants the government power to imprison—without a trial—anyone who criticizes the country's king. So, umm, I'm just going to stop writing now...

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