July 21, 2011

Police in a Wisconsin town are taking flak after shutting down a lemonade stand run by a 10-year-old girl and her nine-year old sister. The police have since apologized, saying they mistakenly believed the girls were attempting to unionize.

Singer R. Kelly was hospitalized in Chicago yesterday following emergency throat surgery. A spokesperson said Kelly had been complaining of throat pain for the past few days, but only headed to the hospital after his initial idea to "just try peeing on it" merited limited results.

A U.S. District Court ruled yesterday that the U.S. Treasury was in the right when it seized 10 FDR-era gold coins now worth approximately $75 million. Said one government official, "Gentlemen, I believe we have found a solution to our debt crisis."

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