April 6, 2011

Diamond Foods announced it will be buying Pringles from Proctor & Gamble in a $2.35 billion deal. Diamond originally intended to purchase just a single can, but soon found that once it had begun to pop, it was simply unable to stop.

Dish Network won the rights to video retailer Blockbuster's assets at a bankruptcy auction that ended early Wednesday. Finally, a company that combines the inflated prices of brick-and-mortar DVD rentals with the unreliability of satellite television.

Newly-released tax records show that Bristol Palin earned more than $262,000 in 2009 for her efforts to raise awareness for teen pregnancy prevention. The lesson, as always: unprotected sex is the way to go.

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