March 3, 2011

In a new book, Pope Benedict personally exonerates Jews for the death of Jesus. According to Benedict, the most likely culprit was either Judas, the Romans, or the butler. You can never rule out the butler.

According to a new study from the CDC, there is a significantly higher obesity rate among American adults than their Canadian counterparts. So suck on that, Canada! And by that, I mean bacon.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service yesterday declared the eastern cougar extinct, at long last giving America a victor in the violent East Coast-West Coast Cougar Wars.

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