March 24, 2011

A new study has found that people are nearly three times more likely to have a heart attack during or immediately after sex compared with when they are not copulating. Said literally everyone in response: "Yeah, I'm willing to take that risk."

According to the 2010 Census, Detroit's population plummeted by 25% over the last decade. The news came as a shock to Americans, most of whom were amazed that anybody still lived in Detroit.

The FDA has banned all imports of food grown near the crippled Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant in Japan. So sorry, Nourishment Nancys, but you're all just going to have to make due with foodstuffs that've been grown here, near local nuclear power plants.

A Michigan man has been charged with polygamy after his estranged first wife discovered photos from his second wedding on Facebook. Plus, he totally listed "Everclear" under his favorite music. What kind of sick, twisted a person would do such a thing? Can we lock this asshole up for life?

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