March 18, 2011

Yesterday, the House of Representatives voted to cut off federal funding to NPR, even after they were offered a free tote bag.

For the first time ever, Diet Coke beat out Pepsi as the No. 2 soft drink in the United States, so a hearty congratulations to America for choosing cancer over diabetes.

An ice cream truck operator in New York City has been arrested after reportedly using his truck to illegally distribute prescription painkillers. And yet they REFUSE to do anything about those rocket ship popsicles that taste like stale bubblegum. COME ON, JUSTICE SYSTEM—GET IT TOGETHER. It also explains why I saw so many disheveled men shoving kids and yelling "The jingle! The jingle!" last summer.

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