March 11, 2011

AOL announced yesterday it will be laying off 20% of its workforce. Which raises the very important question: AOL can still afford employees? Let's just hope they enjoy their severance pay of 1000 free hours of Version 6.0.

A new report from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention shows that the number of cancer survivors living in the United States has increased by nearly fourfold in the last 40 years, and by 20% in the last six years. Wait, so if it isn't keeping cancer survivors out, why are we even building this border fence? Taking all our jobs with their stupid willpower and inspirational stories...

Lady Gaga is threatening to sue a London ice cream parlor for naming its breast milk-based ice cream "Baby Gaga." While this entire situation seems ridiculous, at least it's good to know there is a place where Lady Gaga draws the line. Meat dress? "Fine." Breast milk ice cream? "Not fine."

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