March 1, 2011

In an appearance last week, Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) called last year's health care reform law "an awful piece of crap" and a "dumb-ass program." He then declared his intentions to counter-rally against "those union shitheads" in Wisconsin, and to defend the Defense of Marriage Act "like a motherfucker."

The New York Times is reporting that Oprah Winfrey's new network, OWN, is struggling mightily, averaging a mere 135,000 viewers at any given hour. Experts say the low ratings likely stem from Oprah's controversial "Everybody gets a TV show!" approach. "You get a TV show! You get a TV show!"...

The International Olympic Committee is holding a summit meeting today about the ongoing threat of match fixing, where athletes are paid to throw a match. IOC president Jacques Rogge said it's important to emphasize that athletes should never take bribes, and that they should leave that sort of thing to the event organizers.

Frank Buckles, the last known living American veteran of World War I, passed away yesterday at the age of 110. And to think if Gavrilo Princip had never assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, that headline might have read, "Old man dies after long life."

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