Golfer Tiger Woods was fined by the European Tour after being caught spitting several times during last weekend's Dubai Desert Classic. Woods later apologized, saying he was just trying to get the taste of whore pussy out of his mouth.
A state senator in South Carolina has introduced a bill that would have the state produce its own currency based on the gold and silver standards. Oh, South Carolina. There's just no out-crazying you, is there?
McDonald's restaurants in Hong Kong have started offering McWeddings. So at long last, fast food fans can have the sad, fat-saturated wedding they've always dreamed of. Also, Wendy's totally just changed its fry recipe so, you know, excitement all around.