February 11, 2011

Nokia announced it will begin using Microsoft software in its smartphones. From now on, every time you drop a call using your Nokia, a paper clip will appear and say "I see you're trying to make a phone call! Have you considered switching networks?"

Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona has sued the federal government over for what she calls an "invasion" of her state by illegal immigrants from Mexico. Brewer then announced lawsuits against Southwest Airlines for not preventing an invasion of her state by "illegal tourists," as well as Atari for failing to protect her state from "a bunch of illegal Space Invaders."

Donald Trump is reportedly contemplating a presidential run. FINALLY—it has been way too long since we had a rich white guy in the White House.

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