An Illinois appeals court ruled today that former White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel does not qualify to run for mayor of Chicago in next month's elections. Emanuel vowed to appeal the decision, then unleashed a series of profanities that is entirely unfit for publication. Yes, even for the Internet.
A New York woman admitted today to kidnapping a baby from a New York City hospital in 1987. However, authorities say they will not press charges, as the woman's allegedly-stolen daughter looks nothing like the sketch of the missing baby.